Don't Tell Anyone I Told You

Local Tv Reporter Jason Derusha Just Couldn't Get Laid

2009-01-30T18:32:00.000-08:00

He tried and he tried. (How do I know?) Sources.

And get this, all nerd boy's friends were chicks, ofcourse. You know he was trying, or atleast; dreaming.

Yes, fate had better things in mind for him: Calluses,Kleenex,and a good Catholic upbringing.

Finally, and I'm talking 22 FINALLY!!!!!!!; he manages action with his wife to be Alyssa.

Jay-D, dude, she's too good for you.

In other gossip,

Yeah the gossip on this blog has been staler than a communion wafer. You have to read the twitter account BaronVonJusta for the flava.

Who has time to blog all the time? I mean, besides a baby faced Reporter with all femal friends that made it into his twenties without planting the root.

Till next time, see you in the steam room.

Bitches.

The lies behind the truth behind the lies

2008-07-23T20:10:00.000-07:00

It's taken me several days to get this little piece of gossip.

With Blake out the picture Amy Winehouse was spotted in a threesome with Minneapolis and Saint Paul.

Apparently, Minneapolis and Saint Paul have been in an open relationship for the last 6 months.

Kinky bitches.

Apparently, Winehouse had a wax job to get ready. Wino In Wax

Smooth and dirty, I like it in a ick-I-Wouldn't-touch-it-with-a-ten-foot-pole sort of way.

Wow look at those tits.

2008-07-16T20:16:00.000-07:00

Yeah, they're temporary,

but Marge has got it going on.

I hear she's become a trade show model and may or may not now be dating afterglide on the side.

A sickening, sickening, orgy humpfest; if you ask me.

"Magumbo!"

Gross

2008-07-14T21:07:00.000-07:00

I think my neighbors are having sex in their backyard.

They're about 80 and I think they've taken a nap break, or died.

I'd poke'em with a stick, but fear they'd ask me to join.

. . . then again.

Ok, You should tell everyone this.

2008-07-11T23:03:00.000-07:00

jayrosen_nyu If someone says to you, "so-and-so is a troll, please do not feed him," they mean DO NOT SAY A THING TO A TROLL. You'll regret it. So hard? 37 minutes ago

davewiner @jayrosen_nyu --> Heh. Trolls for some weird reason never say "Hmm. I see your point. I was wrong and you were right! Thanks." 19 minutes ago

jayrosen_nyu @davewiner Yeah, but when your own readers are like, "I'm NOT going to feed him, I'm just going to give him a cookie..." 15 minutes ago from web in reply to davewiner

So go and tell everyone. Maybe, you won't feel so slutty.

Also, for those lonely and pathetic alley cats howling at the moon on a hot summers night, I've noticed someone has moved your cankles to your wrists. You might want to ge that checked out.

Just sayin'

MPR Pretty Boy Sanden: Hot or Not?

2008-07-09T18:11:00.000-07:00

It's rumored that today radio producer Sanden Totten's face broke Twitter.

About 3 hours ago Sanden asked

"Why is my picture suddenly gone from my tweets? It's still in my profile. Twitter you are weird."

To which some gossipy twitterbitch replied "Too many 'face for radio' jokes"

Only to be answered answered "@BaronVonJusta Oh no! Is this the Twitter equivalent of breaking the mirror when you look at it?"

What do you people think?

I'll tell you what, if I wasn't an asexual chalk drawing, I'd hit it.

And then I'd tell you all about it.

Spend to Victory DeRusha Style!

2008-07-07T18:07:00.000-07:00

According to The Wealth Report - WSJ.com : Splurging Is Good for Your Health

'a study by a couple of business-school professors says splurging now makes you happier later. Even more surprising: Not splurging now gives you pangs of regret later'

It's rumored that in reponse to the article Jason DeRusha has moved to buy all of Maple Grove.

It's not clear what his plans may be, but one can only imagine he plans on burning the place to the ground and an army of JasonBots will rise out of the ashes and invade Albertville.

I can see it now, an army of journalist zombie hybrids walking the streets, microphone in hand, chanting 'Good Question' with the type of dead monotone that usually requires years of reporting to perfect.

Horrifying.

So according to the arrticle, one thing is certain, you should go out and spend your entire savings on frivolity and cheer.

No one wants to face regrets or a zombie army of DeRushaBots.

Good Question: Is Madonna dating Sailor Martin?

2008-07-06T14:04:00.000-07:00

Madonna drama spills over

'Alex Rodriguez and Lenny Kravitz get drawn into a high-profile story involving the Material Girl'

Also, I've heard she's living in a material world.

Will WCCO go behind the scenes with a journalistic look at the financing behind this Rodriguez - Kravitz sandwich of Madonna publicity?

I may have heard she was dating @sailormartin.

Steve Marsh Will Read Poetry For Good Hair

2008-07-03T21:05:00.000-07:00

stephenhero proclaims " I'm going to go read poetry to my hairdresser's son so she'll style me for free. He's 7 months so I'm thinking The Georgics? JK. Ogden Nash."

It's rumored his hair was then cut with a $850 japanese pair of scissors.

My Hair!

Have you heard?

2008-06-29T17:16:00.000-07:00

Look, I'm not saying . . .

I just happened to look out my window and my neighbors were up to something. Now, I'm not one to gossip. It's just that I know what I saw with my own eyes.

My eighty year old neighbor is sleeping with Brad Pitt.

I didn't get close enough to take a picture, but I'm pretty sure I saw what I saw.

Angelina, you may want to check that boy when he goes to Mn. If you know what I mean.

Don't tell anyone I told you.

Shhhhhhhhh.

2008-06-29T17:12:00.000-07:00

It's a secret.